“Never permit a dichotomy to rule your life.” - Pablo Picasso

Dichotomy. What a strange-looking word. Why does the English language even bother with these so-far-from-phonetic words? The American Heritage Dictionary defines dichotomy as the "division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions". It comes from the Greek word dichotomía which literally translates: "dividing in two." So when it came to thinking of what to call my blog—finding the word that related to literally every area of my life—dichotomy seemed the obvious choice... Ok, so maybe not that obvious. Let me explain.

Faith. Relationships. Motherhood. Money. Purpose. Everyday, these are a few of the major themes that make their way through my thoughts. Highs and lows. Optimisms and worries. I'm sure that if you have a pulse, you deal with two or more of these areas in your daily lives. Dichotomy is a double-edged sword when it comes to each of those areas. Not only is dichotomy about how we feel and think while we are pondering on such subjects, but it is also about the inward struggle we host while actually living through these areas of life—the stark contrasts that make us all sometimes question our sanity. The thing is, when the word is used in a generic sense, the two opposing sides are usually clearly defined. In this case—in the case of the heart, the mind, the emotions—it is a little more ambiguous.

How is it that I feel so hopeful and then so hopeless in back-to-back moments? Why is it that when I finally get a chance to talk to a friend about a dispute that we had ages ago, my temperamental emotions throw a wrench into my calm, memorized speech that I had planned for weeks? I want to do the right thing, I really do! But what is right? And when I decided to do the “right thing” five minutes ago, did I really take into consideration all the reasons why I would be totally justified if I chose to do the wrong thing? I want to forgive my husband after he apologizes for the way he spoke to me, but if I tell him that, then won't I be giving up control and leverage? The battle of natures. The divide. Dichotomy.

So as I write my way through this journey of HerDichotomy, I plan to talk about life. This is a different type of "lifestyle blog." I aim to share my heart, my thoughts, the worst-kept secret that is dichotomy, its influence on my life, and the daily battle I fight while it serves as a handicap, attempting to influence every move I make. But this is not negative, guys. It's awesome! Identifying our humanity and sharing how it affects our lives—through that transparency—we each are able to encourage and lift up one another in the victory that is attainable. We all struggle, we all grapple with hardships and defeat. Although new creatures in relationship with Christ, our old natures act as a thorns in our sides, as we must daily mortify their deeds through the power of the Holy Ghost. But in the end we win (1 Corinthians 15:57)—though not on our own. The strength, power, and triumph all belong to Jesus Christ. It is through Him that we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28). Only through the Gospel (Good News) of Jesus Christ can we experience a lifetime of sanctification—becoming less like the old and more like the new. Through Christ we fight and come up on the other side, yes, with scratches and bruises... but truly whole.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate […] So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.” Romans 7:15, 21-23