The Not-So-Golden Rule
3 min read
“We throw rocks at others from the comfort of our glass houses, thinking we have so carefully hidden our own mess.”
“I will unconditionally love you.... on one condition.”
“I will forgive you.... as long as the trespass isn’t too egregious.”
“I won’t hurt you.... as long as you don’t hurt me.”
“I will respect you... as long as you respect me.”
Have any of these or similar thoughts ever crossed your mind?
Author, speaker, and educator Stephen Covey once said, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”
Reread that. Let it resonate. Ruminate on it. Don’t do what I so often did and sometimes still do once hearing or reading a powerful statement: deflect and think of all the other people that I thought could benefit from it.
Instead, walk to the closest mirror and take a good look. Reflect on how the person you see has dealt with others throughout the years.
How much room do we give others to mess up—to exhibit their human nature through ignorance, acidic words, painful actions, and even in being evil?
We throw rocks at others from the comfort of our glass houses, thinking we have so carefully hidden our own mess.
As individuals and a society, we constantly come up with conditions in our relationships with family, friends, our communities, and strangers. We tell ourselves that these have been put in place for our protection... but do we have an ulterior motive? Do we ever separate the wrong we do from the wrong others do—try to classify others’ offenses as deplorable, while ours were just misunderstood? Do our actions convey the bizarre, subconscious notion that we should not accept anything less than perfection from others?
But are our behaviors really any different? Are we judging our own lives by a different yardstick?
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” The Golden Rule. Not only spoken by Jesus in Matthew 7:12, but a variation of this rule is found in most religions: Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism—to name a few.
We often use The Golden Rule as a way to approach people proactively. Be kind. Be respectful. Be fair.
We do not look at this rule as a standard for reaction—specifically in response to those who do not even follow The Golden Rule themselves.
Turning the other cheek seems weak. It seems as if we’ll set ourselves up for further hurt. We act as if we should exercise forgiveness toward a certain group of infractions, but not for others.
If we really took a closer look at our personal history, would we see ourselves guilty of some of the same things we react to so harshly when done to us?
Have we made a habit of judging others by their behavior while in the same stride, judging our similar actions by our intent?
Feel free to share any thoughts, successes, or failures you may have in relation to this topic below in the comment section.